Is This All There Is?
by Patricia Mann
Published by Booktrope Editions
Genre: women’s literature
3 / 5
Beth Thomas’ seemingly perfect life is about to take a detour. At thirty-five, she’s married to her college sweetheart, has two adorable kids, and finds fulfillment teaching part time at the local university.
But when a friend persuades her to go dancing on a rare night out, a chance meeting with a handsome former student changes the course of her life. Loud music, too much to drink, and the thrill of feeling young again lead to an unforgettable kiss that was never supposed to happen. Beth feels wanted again, listened to, cared for, but she knows it’s wrong.
She tries to put the memory behind her, but he pursues her, drawing Beth back to temptation. As she travels deeper into Dave’s world, Beth struggles to choose between what her mind says is right and what she truly craves.
There is something about the sort of miasma that afflicts women, especially those whose lives are taken up by children, husbands, household managing. It happens, and how the woman reacts to it dictates the rest of her life. She can’t see it, of course; she can’t see that one small movement will hold her hostage to that decision forever.
Such is the case with Beth. It isn’t that she is unhappy or discontented or any of those things. She is a mother, she works part-time as a professor, her husband isn’t abusive or demanding. He may not notice her the way she would like, and the passion may be gone from their relationship, but that will improve, right? When the kids get older?
When Beth goes dancing, everything changes. Her former student clearly has a massive crush on her, and he wants to claim her as his own. Beth doesn’t recognize that his obsession with her makes no sense. Instead, she is flattered. He appeals to the parts of her she thought were dead or nonexistent. He makes her feel good when no one else in her life does.
But of course the kiss they share does not occur in isolation. It isn’t so much that Beth kisses this man as it is that there are reasons for it, and those reasons will not go away. They in fact become exacerbated and intensify. Beth begins to look around and wonder if, really, this is all there is for her. Or does the student represent the possibility of what might be?
In her more lucid moments, she does realize that whatever she shares with this boy may not withstand the test of time. She ponders how passionate their union would be if she had to clean up after him in the bathroom. Those sparks of reality help make Beth less annoying, because otherwise, I wanted to knock some sense into her.
Yet I can understand her wanting to be wanted. Desire is a powerful urge, both to feel it and to feel it directed toward you. Beth makes mistakes, sure, but her reasons for them are very real.
I did not like the ending, only because I felt like there was a tremendous build-up and then it sort of petered out. I also didn’t like Beth a lot because she is so caught up in herself that she fails to see how she affects the lives of those around her. But then again, being a mother – always putting your children before you – is why Beth is in the place she is.
It’s an interesting book and will make you think. I just wish the ending had been as powerful as the rest of the book deserves.